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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?